Jackson in the car yesterdayYesterday on a drive up to Washington to see family and back, I all but finished a secret knit. I don't mind seaming once I get started and have always been happy with my results, so why do I balk so at doing it? I still need to seam up my Lanesplitter skirt; NOW is the season to wear it!
I am at equally loose ends in the spinning department. My Water Lilies singles are still resting after my failed first attempt to N-ply it. So I've turned to my spindles. I've filled my travel Turkish with fine Inky singles; now I'm working on a thicker single with my Jenkins tulip Swan. Hopefully when plied the yarn will match the skein I did (using the same tools) during the Tour de Fleece.
Loose ends. Frayed nerves. I am feeling pressured by this life I live. Some of the pressure comes from STUFF; it is like an avalanche, threatening to overtake and bury me. We just brought back more STUFF on our Sunday drive; stuff that was my grandmother's that I couldn't just toss. Some of it is clothing; I wore a suit of hers to church Saturday (I brought that back in July after her funeral), and right now I'm wearing a maroon vest that was hers. But it's still more STUFF.
Some of the pressure comes from juggling so many responsibilities - home, farm, family, homeschooling, my clients, church, Rick's business. All those areas in my life are important to me, and yes, I know how to say "No." I am doing the bare minimum in many areas. But my ability to keep all the balls in the air seems to be slipping - perhaps because of menopause? I'm certainly "enjoying" many of the symptoms (NOT!). Sometimes I feel like I need to SCREAM - except that I have no noise tolerance. (Have I mentioned that Brian is a constant source of noise?)
And don't even get me started on politics, whether of countries, counties or organizations!
I think more exercise would improve my mental and emotional state, but when would I fit that in?
Can anyone recommend a good hermitage?
Okay, enough, from . . .
14 comments:
Sorry to hear you're feeling out of sorts. It happens to me some times too. Hang on, it will get better.
A glass of wine...
Have you thought of Rescue Remedy? It helps me alot when I'm feeling overwhelmed. Also, sub-lingual B complex works really well, too...
Hang in there...
Hang in there... I can really understand and empathize (my menopause symptoms are making me wacky!) and life can just get too complicated. Go out and sit with the sheep a bit. I know, finding the time for that is hard too, but it will help.
Hang out with Jackson more, how can you just not love that face. I know the overwhelmed feeling, 112animals, chores, price of feed, need to downsize, thought about going to the auction, trailer tire has peeled apart, thought ok, can load some of the smaller ones in dog crates, won't be as many but it's a start ....... hmmmm ABS light and emergency brake light in the truck are stuck in the on mode, don't want to load up critters and have a break down. But then Dollar and Bella will come and want to be petted and put me in a better frame of mind, funny what dogs can do.
I think you need to spin some art yarn. Here's why. Look at how perfect your water lily yarn is. And how much there is of it. That's a lot of perfection there. A lot of structure. Coloring inside the lines. Get a couple funky batts and spin some "not perfect", thick and thin, long draw whooshing out behind you yarn on your miniSpinner. Something probably completely out of your comfort zone. Let yourself go - even if just for a few minutes.
Good grief, I could have written this post myself! Let me know when you figure out where we're going. I'm in!
The need to scream does sound so menopausal. Ask me how I know. Besides really having your hands full (!!!), I think, too, the onset of fall/winter puts us all into a slight panic. There is so much to do and so little time. I would highly recommend yoga or, in a pinch, deep breathing exercises. Both have saved my sanity on more than one occasion.
I hear your scream and will add one to it! :-) It's a crazy life anymore.
Tammy
I second CrazySheepLady's thought. Sounds to me like you need to let loose a little. Do something wild. And if that doesn't help, go out to the barn and scream your lungs out.
We are on the same wavelength, sis!
I like Sara's analysis - she is a very good observer! Beyond spinning art yarn...spend some time with Russell, cook something with your favorites spices/ingredients (mine would be curry...but go with whatever smells really good) and take a bath with candles.
No screaming...how about singing (loudly) to some of your favorite music from 10 years ago?
Ah, Shelly, I don't drink! (One friend of mine keeps telling me I NEED to; ha!)
Love your new profile photo, Laura! (-;
Ruth, Tombstone and Melanie, spending time with the critters does help, and I will continue to do it.
Sara and Denise, do either of you want to donate a "funky batt" so I can try some art yarn therapy? I haven't a clue how to go about it (remember, mostly self-taught spinner here), but am willing to try. But what would I DO with the yarn???
Christine, you, me, a couple of Shetlands for fiber and our wheels; sounds PERFECT!
Susan and Tammy (and the rest of you!), thanks so much for understanding and letting me know these feelings are not abnormal. I HATE HORMONES!
And Melanie, I think I'll turn up Winona Judd's "No One Else on Earth;" GREAT one to belt out with her! Thanks for the suggestion; I really don't need the neighbors to call 911.
Shorter days, more to do and less time to do it, with everyday stress on top of it, not enough sunlight, the feeling that if you stretched any further you'll snap... and I haven't started menopause yet! :)
What was it Bilbo said? "I feel... thin. Sort of stretched, like... butter scraped over too much bread."
I wonder if JRRT lived with a stressed out woman lol
It is funny how we can be so grateful and kind of miserable at the same time. I think it's definitely a good thing you have a nine year old in the house! Take care, I will be thinking of you.
will try to make up a batt for you sometime this week. Will have to look and see what kind of crazy combo I can come up with out of he stash- :)
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