Tuesday, March 19, 2019

The answer, my friend....

A sweet, sad soundtrack from my childhood, still fitting, unfortunately, after all these years:


I know the answer isn't blowing in the wind, but something is. My horse has been having trouble breathing, and last weekend my eyes started itching. Then Rick got a pollen alert on his phone; ALLERGIES. Ugh. As if spring isn't bad enough because it's followed by summer. grumblegrumblegrumble

But the daffodils, they are cheery,

and the daphne, it is fragrant.


You can stop and smell the roses if you'd rather, but I'll take the more potent perfume of daphne odora any day! This morning as I was inhaling, I noticed that one sprig has white flowers, without the pink undersides and buds of the rest of the bush.

Nature is full of surprises.

Some of you commented with excitement when you learned that I get a parenting break for two weeks. Ha! Would you like to know what's in store for me, besides shearing and skirting as many fleeces as possible, working at the office job part-time, the usual cooking/cleaning/laundry/chores of living, and doing monthly payroll for Rick's clinic? I have appointments with:

  1. A friend visiting from Virginia
  2. A friend visiting from Portand who I haven't seen in far longer than my VA friend
  3. My dentist (x2)
  4. My women's health care provider (annual exam)
  5. The local hospital (mammogram)
  6. My farrier
  7. My hairdresser
  8. A county planning department hearing on development on our hill

Not that it won't be nice to have a break from the attitudes and actions/inactions of the teenager for a couple weeks. He seems hell-bent (oh, what a fitting descriptor!) on rebelling against everything we ask or believe in. Even if he complies with a request, it is with pointed delay to show us "we are not the boss of him." He probably won't get any sleep tonight, as he has not cleaned his room or started packing for his trip and we have to leave for the airport at 1:30 tomorrow morning.
More worrisome than that typical teenage stuff is his changing worldview. This morning one of my favorite outspoken artists, Mary Engelbreit, copied this zinger to her Instagram page:

But did I copy it to mine? No, because I didn't want to hear the rant I would get from my son about an assault weapons ban. He is far too enthralled with weapons of all kinds for my comfort; his interest in firearms especially seems fanned by a desire to connect with my dad, now gone, and my dad's intention to leave Brian his gun collection. Lately he has even expressed support for the twice-divorced, porn-star-player/payor, morally and financially bankrupt pathological liar that is the current occupant of the White House, and was tickled to win a Trump t-shirt in an online "contest." 😳😱 Could my son become radicalized by the alt-right, the "white power" movement that seems to appeal particularly to young, white, pro-Trump males? Heaven help us – and I mean that literally; I pray for Brian constantly. And now you know the greatest burden of my heart.

When I post frisky kitty pictures,


and lovey dog shots,
it is partly because these things make me happy and lift my spirits, but also because that is what I feel I CAN share – and will probably go back to sharing. Do I trust that our own government won't follow in the footsteps of an admired other? Quite the opposite; I believe the Bible makes clear that political and religious powers will unite to take away our freedoms before God returns to clean up this mess once and for all.

"I will lift up mine eyes to the hills, from hence cometh my help." Psalm 121:1

Onward and upward, at . . .

13 comments:

Michelle said...

Putting this out there – unless I decide to take it down!

Donna said...

Wow Michelle- you are going through a lot! But I think in this fractured country a lot of families are going through the same thing. Hang in there. When I married Tom, I inherited a mad teenage boy who had been through a lot. He had a fascination with guns and drove a car with a confederate flag on it. We both have made it through and you will too. But I am glad you get a break, although an overplanned one.

Michelle said...

Thanks for sharing your experience of "making it through," Donna. I hope and pray we do, too, but know that some don't (like my step-brother). Everyone is a "free moral agent" with the power of choice....

Mama Pea said...

I have a feeling you would still have your jam-packed week (or two) coming up even if the angst-causing teenager was home. At least for a short spell you can deal with everything else on your plate withOUT having to deal with he who shall remain nameless!

The teenage years are tough for nearly every parent I've ever known. Looking back on all the trials and tribulations now, I can clearly see that so much of the unreasonable (and abhorable! -- is that even a word?) behavior was caused because, as much as the teenager would NEVER admit or even consider, the teenage brain is simply not developed fully. Which amounts to giving them explosives to play with while they can't yet think reasonably. They're trying so hard to exert their independence and do everything they can to be ugly-bugly contrary and in no way shape or form like "mom and/or dad!" I'd gladly raise three toddlers at once who have to be watched constantly than go through those teen years again!

Michelle said...

Mama Pea, I NEED all these wise words from those of you who have gone before. Keep them coming!

Leigh said...

We got a dose of spring pollen today too. Ah spring, so welcome but not without a few regrets. Sounds like you are going to be super busy in the days ahead.

A :-) said...

No children, so I can't offer any experience in that area - but I highly support that post from Mary Engelbreit. Maybe you should share it, Michelle. It could be important that your son know that you have the courage of your convictions. Throughout the last presidential election cycle and continuing as the current administration stepped in to the White House, I made my feelings very, very clear, both on my personal blog and on my FaceBook page. I know that some people stopped following me at that time, and a lot of people unfriended me on on FB. I just read a book called "The Ragged Edge of Night," by Olivia Hawker. The book is historical fiction, but she was inspired by the 2016 election to write it. And well before I read it, the parallels between what is happening here now, and what happened in Nazi Germany then were very clear to me . . .

Anyway, it's just too important to me to keep quiet about what is happening in our country, so, as you know, I made it clear that I was not going to shut up about it. I'm sure, though, that it must be weighing terribly on your heart about your teenager. I think your friend, Mama Pea's, advice is good.

Susan said...

Pollen already? Oy, Michelle. It is such a turbulent time - as it was when I was a teenager, but I think it is worse now because of the poser in the white house and those factions that support him. We seem to have lost the softer, loving, compassionate views of this country, although I know they are still here because I see them on your blog posts (and through your kindnesses to me) and so many others in the blogosphere. There are so many good people in the world. I pray that Brian will find wisdom and realize what is important and right. (That cat is so darn photogenic - do you think he knows he is?)

Goatldi said...

If it is any consolation to you I raised two beings through adolescence and they are now almost 45 and 42. For the most part neither of them have done any thing they voiced (often times most loudly) during those years. Remember every action has a reaction. Sometimes just a nod and a smile works better then head on confrontation. Give the kid credit that by 16 knows where his parents stand but sometimes it is more fun to try out the boundaries and rattle the proverbial parental chains. And above all choose your battles wisely.

Michelle said...

Yes, there are so many things that need doing this time of year, Leigh, but I will admit to not being terribly productive today after spending more time in the car and at the airport last night than in my bed.

Trust me, Adrienne; I have and continue to make my convictions clear to my son (and others, should the occasion arise)! When he said he would vote for Trump over Hillary (I did remind him Hillary isn't running, so what is his point?) I started quoting Trump from his Access Hollywood tape and asked him, "Really? You would vote for someone who views women that way? Who TREATS women that way? Who has flings with porn stars when his wife is at home with their baby?" He didn't like it much; right now his bias boils down to who supports 'gun rights.'

Yes, Susan, there are still many thoughtful, compassionate people in the world (like you!), and I hope Brian is spending time with some of them right now as he begins this mission trip. His story isn't over yet!

Goatldi, yes, that's consolation! And I do remind myself that there are many hills not worth dying on....

Mokihana said...

Daffodils and daphne... what a glorious combination!

Thanks for your honesty about everything...

Retired Knitter said...

Oh Michelle ... I have a sense of what you are going through. When my son was 17 he announced he was going into the military rather than college. It was not what we wanted. I remember thinking I could get him into Canada to avoid the military - and then remembered this wasn't a draft but a volunteer service (I grew up through the Vietnam era - hence my reaction.) I had to let him go and sign up then but I was depressed for months - we were at peace then, I don't know how moms do it today with our service men where they are. I am not a sturdy person when it comes to my kids. Then one day he tried to get his MOS -assignment - to Bomb duty - dismantling bombs - he told me that on one of our rare calls. I cried and cried - sure he was trying to kill himself. But the military never gives you want when you tell them (Thank God) so he missed that bullet. Four years of rare visits. I worried the whole time. But at some point he matured enough to realize what he had left behind, sent us a letter saying that we were the best parents and he was sorry he caused us so much grief. Long story short - he grew out of that rebellious stage and returned to us whole - he still had a lot of growing left to do. But he wasn't on such a hell bent path. But it was a very hard time.

Stay true to who you are - a stable influence - and continue to pray. I will pray as well. For him and for our nation - 'cause the course we are on is very scary.

Michelle said...

Mokihana, I'm glad you appreciate it; it was hard to share.

Oh Elaine, as scary as your experience was, knowing that your son came out on the other side (and is now a family man!) is certainly comforting. But four years of that would feel like hell; Lord, give me strength – and faith!