Sunday, March 03, 2013

The Sunday funnies

My dad sent this to me this morning; it's supposedly what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about living in Oregon. I got several chuckles and smiles of recognition from it (I highlighted those in bold), so thought I'd share it with my friends here. Some of you are Oregonians and will totally get it; for the rest of you it will either be a mystery or an education!

Caveat: I am not a native Oregonian, but I might as well be. This place feels like home like no other place ever has; I love it here. I've lived here over 23 years; here's to the rest of my earthly life!

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you live in Oregon.

If you've worn shorts, sandals and a parka at the same time, you live in Oregon.

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed the wrong number, you live in Oregon.

If you measure distance in hours, you live in Oregon.

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you live in Oregon.

If you have switched from heat to A/C and back again in the same day, you live in Oregon. (I don't do this, but often want to!)

If you install security lights on your house and garage but leave both doors unlocked, you live in Oregon.

If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over two layers of clothes or under a raincoat, you live in Oregon.

If you know the four seasons as almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you live in Oregon.

If you feel guilty throwing aluminum cans or paper in the trash, you live in Oregon.

If you know more than ten ways to order coffee, you live in Oregon.

If you know more people who own boats than air conditioners, you live in Oregon.

If you stand on a deserted corner in the rain waiting for the WALK signal, you live in Oregon.

If you consider that if it has no snow or has not recently erupted it isn't a real mountain, you live in Oregon.

If you can taste the difference between Starbucks, Seattle's Best and Dutch Bros, you live in Oregon.

If you know the difference between Chinook, Coho, and Sockeye salmon, you live in Oregon.

If you know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup, Clatskanie, Issaquah, Umpqua, Yakima, Willamette and Oregon, you live in Oregon.

If you consider swimming an indoor sport, you live in Oregon.

If you know that Boring is a city and not just a feeling, you live in Oregon.

If you can tell the difference between Japanese, Chinese and Thai food, you live in Oregon.

If you never go camping without waterproof matches and a poncho, you live in Oregon.

If you have actually used your mountain bike on a mountain, you live in Oregon.

If you think people who use umbrellas are either wimps or tourists, you live in Oregon.

If you buy new sunglasses every year because you cannot find the old ones after such a long time, you live in Oregon.


Now for what is not funny. When I sat down with my laptop to do this post, my buddy Jackson sat next me. I grabbed my camera to share his adorableness with you all . . . and it wouldn't operate. The lens is malfunctioning; after the camera tries to extend the zoom several times, it just shuts off. I'm not panicking (yet), but the photos I snapped Friday and this morning may be the last I can share with you for awhile. For that reason, I'll save them for another post!

Glad I can pray even for a camera at . . .


Tombstone Livestock said...

Gotta' love Jeff Foxworthy .... I can pronounce Umpqua because that's my daughter's mailing address and my cousin lives on the river. First four names won't even attempt. Last two are easy.

Michelle said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Michelle said...

I didn't pronounce Willamette properly when we first moved here, and a LOT of out-of-staters don't pronounce "ORE-e-gun" properly! (Oops, just noticed that I misspelled Sequim! Sounds like 'squid' except with an M on the end.)

Mary Ann said...

Michelle, I'm on about my sixth camera because I jam it in my pocket so often. This happened to me a week or so ago... I let the camera sit for a day and it dried out and worked fine again (lens cover and everything).

I laughed my head off at this.

Michelle said...

I gave my camera a firm whack on the heel of my hand, and it started working again (YAY!!!). I always keep it zipped up in a case slung over my shoulder, so I don't know what its issue was . . . I'm just glad it's working again (so I could take lots of horsey photos for my other blog)! :-)

Ruth Dixon said...

I have seen that and can agree with almost all of them, being a born-here Ory-Go-N-Ian! LOL

Lael said...

I just read one of these about Wisconsin and many of the entries were the same (of course, not the place names, etc that are specific to Oregon or the references to the rain) I especially like the one about the Halloween costume fitting over layers of clothes (here we don't include the raincoat outerwear!) I remember many costumes, both as a kid and a parent, that had to go over heavy coats!

Anonymous said...

Agree with most, except the swimming part. Clearly Foxworthy lives an urban live. As a child I thought true swimming was done only in dashing cold creeks or the freezing ocean, swimming pools were for playing around and for Southern Californians and wimps. (I still tend to view pools as extremely boring, the only worthwhile pools having decent diving boards.)

Glad you got your camera working again!

Laura said...

Another hard one is Siuslaw...

Hope the camera hangs in there!

Karen said...

I hope it's simply weak batteries!!

Franna Pitt said...

Oregon, Washington, same difference. Most of those names are WASHINGTON cities!